Pace

Pace - No, not for tacos. For conversations.

Mirroring

I've been tinkering with mirroring. It's tricky through a camera, easier in person. Here, if you lean forward your conversation partner is likely to do the same. Sit up strait, ditto. Angry, happy or talking slow... "same" (as my 10 year old daughter says on repeat).

I've been looking for level headed and calculated chances to steer conversations while nailing pacing as a proactive tool in as many meetings as possible. In the process it's also become clear again that pacing can play a significant role in tone, context setting, urgency and decision making - all with fewer words if the pace is slow. Moreover, and interestingly, I think I can sense when the pace served the goals or detracted from the goals with a quick assessment during and/or after meetings.

Pacing

Like intonation - staccato, bravado or syncopation in music - so also pace plays a role in tone and context setting in conversations. In general, slow means un-urgent, medium means whatever the standard is at that time or group and fast means urgent. All of this "roughly," of course.

You might get excited and talk fast. However, not all that much is urgent, is it? In an exercise of contrast, when things are urgent, talking slower can play a powerful role in increasing comprehension and impact. Uhg? Really? If so, then does it follow that, unless one is aiming to inspire or save a life, talking fast simply increases the likelihood of misunderstanding and miscommunication? If that's true then most conversations would be served better to be conducted with a whole... lot... less... speed.

So, what if you're a fast thinker? You might just talk as fast as you think. However, in doing so you run the risk of being interpreted as delivering a message with urgency even when things are not urgent. Slowing speech down can exhibit confidence and a context for others to mirror and chill out. They can think with a more level head and take on information when they are not worried about being caught by a bear looking to make them tacos for dinner.

So, what does a fast thinker do with all the extra time? Because there are fewer words in the same amount of time when talking slowly, there is time to make each sentence more impactful, if they want. There is time to anticipate where conversations are going, pick words selectively, read other signals, if they want. There is time to plan ahead and decide where and how to take the conversation where they ultimately want it to go and do. Pace awareness does not need to equate to faster meetings or to slower ones. Rather, pace can provide an on the fly editing layer as well as a strategic one for the fast thinker if they just slow down the talking (not necessarily the thinking). Who would want to give up a tool like that?

So, comprehension can go up, urgency can go down and an editing and strategic layer can be added to communication all from slowing the pace of conversations. In your next conversation consider pausing for a moment, slowing down and passing the pace... but not for tacos.